My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
