I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
