just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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