Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
