you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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