Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize