Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize