Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
