I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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