no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
