I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
