Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
