What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
