the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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