You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
