Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
