wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
