I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't deserve a penis
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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