She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
