my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
