Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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