Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
