She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
