I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
