He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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