Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Me too. Send a cab. Order food.

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(602): View more from Arizona

dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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(207): View more from Maine

i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

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(901): View more from Tennessee

hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.

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(410): View more from Maryland

YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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(253): View more from Washington

I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think that's a new house record

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(260): View more from Indiana

As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.

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