She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
