Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize