A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
