just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
