So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
