Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
