Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
