ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
