why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
