No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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