the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
