You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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