There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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