the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
