I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize