I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
