the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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