mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize