You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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