I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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