i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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