Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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