I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
