I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
