I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
