Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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