If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
