Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
