can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
