let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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