it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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