I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She bit a glass in half.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
