I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
