He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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