I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize