If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize