O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
