he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize