come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
