Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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