is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
