so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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