he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
