if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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