we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
