on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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