dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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