There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
