I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
