U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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