The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
