I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
