he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
