Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
